how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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