If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
