I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
