Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
