girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
