i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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