I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
