Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
