you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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