Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
