You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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