I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my being single is dangerous.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
