If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We talked him into tasing himself.
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Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
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