Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
