we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
