My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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