Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
