His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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