I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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