hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
