This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
