Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
