go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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