ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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