Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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