i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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