I'm eating all of the evidence.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
