She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
