My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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