dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
