I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
