he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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