i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
