I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
