Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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