I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She is in my trunk
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
