Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
