Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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