Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize