I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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