we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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