Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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