So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
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After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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