Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
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Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize