and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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