She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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