lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
