Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Pooping to opera.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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