you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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