Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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