i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
