oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
