my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
