u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
