note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize