you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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