somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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