i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize