i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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