he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
