I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
