My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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